Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Choices

Through this journey of Josie's walking there has been a slew of choices to be made. Should we even embark on this journey was the first choice we had to make. Next came for how long? Looking back these first choices seemed to be so big and monumental and we somehow made them with happy hearts and then accepted and are on the journey now.

The journey was made and accepted by Josie and I together as a team. Somewhere between leaving here a few weeks ago for a break at home until today Josie forgot (or chose not to) really get back into this journey. She has been going to therapy and through the motions but without the sparkle in her eye. It was more of a fight, or my journey. I was pulling her along questioning if I was still making the best decision or choice in this journey.

Don't get me wrong, she has still made incredible progress these past couple weeks. I just wanted and needed this to be her choice to continue this journey. After therapy today (which she did have the best walking to date but not without the whining) we got home. Instead of the using the walker from the door to the room for tutoring I had her use the canes. She was so steady on them today even taking them to the bathroom instead of the walker! Huge. As soon as she saw the canes she began to fight me. Throwing them, yelling and carrying on. It was almost like she had made her choice. Nice Mrs. Bergman was so kind and supportive of us at this moment. She was reassuring to us that this is a choice. She so kindly worked with Josie and let me leave for a little break. She has no idea how good that was for both of us. I took that hour to really offer up the struggle we have had the past few weeks and ask for guidance on our choice. When I returned with a clearer head and a more patient heart for what choice this 8 year old has had to make it, changed our path again...for the better.

After dinner, we watched The Biggest Loser. Ok, admittedly this isn't necessarily the best show for an 8 year old, but in this case it was. The contestants on the show have a big choice to make and then work incredibly hard mentally and physically on that choice. We watched the part where Jillian is asking the girl to choose. Was she going to fight it or was she going to change her mind and attitude and make the hard choice to work through it. Without saying a thing, Josie leaned over the couch (almost gave me a heart attack because I thought she was going to fall) and picked up her canes. Instead of talking I just watched her. I could see something in her eyes. She had made a choice. She positioned her canes in front of her, grabbed them and stood up by herself. She just stood there watching the TV. There was silence in between us but a deafening sound of the choice she made right there. She proceeded to sit and stand about 10 times. Each time she would stand steady for about 3 minutes at a time. When she was done, she leaned over and kissed both canes, one at a time. She then scooted herself back on the couch and sat back, snuggled into me as to say, "I have once again made my choice". Welcome back Josie.

I can't promise that the next 4 1/2 weeks won't be without its own trials and tribulations. I just think that she has once again committed to this process. She said her prayers tonight with happiness and fulfillment. She went to sleep with her usual sparkle in her eyes. Thank you God for answering the prayers of our hearts. May he bless all intentions asked tonight. Jenny and Josie

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